Black Men as Vulnerable Nurturers

The character of Ralph Angel is full-bodied and complex. In many ways he is conflicted with fostering his own self-growth to make better choices for himself and his son, Blue. He does this as a single, formerly incarcerated father under the watchful eye of his son. And Blue is not the only one watching. His family, his parole officer, and those and law enforcement are seemingly on his every move.

In the aftermath of Darla’s decision to throw away Blue’s doll, Kenya, Ralph Angel hunts for the doll in a trash bin. Mid-search, the police arrive and question him until one of the officers recognizes Ralph Angel as a schoolmate. The officer vouches for Ralph Angel; however, the officer was not just any schoolmate. Officer Antoine is a trans person who is Ralph Angel’s childhood friend. After the other officer departs, the two friends share appreciation for each other.

It is quite possible that Ralph Angel’s friendship with Antoine prepared him for navigating Blue’s evolving identity. This friendship perhaps built his capacity for the understanding and acceptance required of him as a father. In Fear and Loathing: How an Engrained Fear of the Unknown Fuels Transphobia, Elizabeth Bedortha notes:

“After centuries of receiving messages, both explicit and subtle, forbidding curiosity and a preference for fear over learning, this fear of knowledge has morphed into a fear of the unknown. Further, this fear of the unknown has become more harmful as it is becoming increasingly clear that the fear of the unknown contributes to the development of prejudice and therefore the acts of discrimination that often follow.”

Fear typically governs a person’s response to new or unknown things. This typically happens in an in-group/out-group situation. For example, a person may dislike people who identify as transgender. In this scenario, all transgender people would be in the out-group (the group to which the person does not identify). Once learning that a friend, family member, or a personal or professional hero is transgender, it is quite possible that the personal would shift the transgender person to the in-group. Some people are so convicted by their discovery that they would move all transgender people to the in-group.

In QUEEN SUGAR, Ralph Angel offers a version of the Black man as a vulnerable nurturer. This Black man is intersectional, nuanced and familiar even though such a version is a rarity in small and big screen productions. Dana Villamagna presents tips for creating a healthy environment in a Toca Boca Magazine article. Ralph Angel masterfully embodies and applies several of the seven tips as he parents Blue.

• Skill-builder: Ralph Angel helps Blue with his social skills. Even though Ralph Angel has moments of anger, he endeavors to model for Blue the idea of making good choices and following his interests without regard to peer pressure.
• Supporter: Ralph Angel supports Blue in his choice of Kenya as a toy. He does not shame his son for selecting a gender atypical toy. Further, Ralph Angel works really hard to avoid sending subtle messages of what are and are not “boy” toys.
• Protector: Ralph Angel is a fierce defender of Blue’s toy choice. In Season 1, Episode 8, he quickly speaks up for Blue during a parent-teacher conference when the father of the child who has been bullying Blue about Kenya speaks negatively of the situation. In Season 6, Episode 8 he and Hollywood speak up for Micah and Isaiah after Cardale questions the closeness of the two college students.

Writer George M. Johnson explains, “That Ralph Angel serves as the protector of Blue’s identity, whatever that may be, is a 101 on unconditional parenting, and how one should react when faced with the reality of a child exhibiting behaviors that don’t align with a heteronormative society.” Ralph Angel is a study in the complexity of Black masculinity in the face of systemic challenges.

Black Men as Platonic Friends

The reality is that men of a certain age have a harder time if they do not have a core group of true male friends because strong male to male relationships promote healthy living.

A question that looms for many is this: How might I change things for the better? It took many centuries for toxic masculinity to be constructed and integrated into our cultural expectations for masculinity and manhood; therefore, it will take time to dismantle toxic masculinity. Here a few ways to create change in your community:

• Creating and using your own working definition of masculinity to include a full spectrum of human experiences and emotions;
• Educating yourself about your understanding of–and attitudes towards–masculinity and Black masculinity; and
• Disrupting and questioning outmoded and dysfunctional definitions of masculinity.

Expanded Conceptions of Black Masculinity

After seven seasons of QUEEN SUGAR, viewers have witnessed a cadre of male characters in the series and how they have expanded conceptions of Black masculinity. The series expands Black masculinity in a way that endows its male characters and us with a full spectrum of human experiences and emotions. From Ralph Angel and Hollywood to Blue and Too Sweet, QUEEN SUGAR holds space for us to witness individual and collective healing and transformation. Main, recurring, and guest characters are not asked to abandon masculinity; instead, they embrace traditional masculine traits like strength and adventure and expand to include vulnerability, determination, emotional-depth, cooperation, intimacy, nuance and kindness.

In Ralph Angel we see someone who was formerly incarcerated dealing with the untimely death of his father. He has a young son to raise and a 800-acre sugar farm to run. He has faced what many formerly incarcerated people face in the aftermath of enduring the prison industrial complex. He was looked over for work. He did not receive the benefit of the doubt. His integrity and dependability was doubted. His manhood and his personhood were questioned. He has acted without thinking, leaving everyone else to deal with the repercussions. These challenges have undoubtedly pushed Ralph Angel to grow up and have reframed his family’s perceptions of him.

In Micah we see the sharp and well-rounded son of a fallen professional basketball player father and a triple-threat mother who serves as manager, brand architect and master strategist. He was raised to be perfect. He is privileged in many ways. Despite this, he still experienced many of the difficulties facing Black and brown boys and young men from navigating self-identity, masculinity and intimacy to experiencing police brutality and then tensions of deep connection and friendship. He talks the talk; he wonders—at times—if he walks the talk. He wants to use his voice to advocate for people. As he helps others, he also invests time in discovering who he truly is without judgment.

In Hollywood we see an Alpha Male, a model of masculinity. Whatever he does, he does for the greater good of those he loves. His family and his community are the beneficiaries of his kindness and protection. He is caring and candid. He is the uncle who will fire up the grill, cook you a steak, drink a beer with you and “get you together” if you seem to be off track. He holds court in The Real Spot, listening and learning. He reminds everyone that “the promise of tomorrow outweighs the pain of right now." Because of his brand of masculinity—which avoids toxicity—he ensures that The Real Spot is a haven for men to get together and talk about their feelings…and return home for the better.

Kofi Siriboe, who portrays Ralph Angel in QUEEN SUGAR, notes, “Let’s look at Black men through a different lens. See Ralph Angel and think of the men in your life. We just want to be loved.”